What is a Drama Queen?

Definition, a woman that is a complete Loser.

We have a drama queen on our street. I got into a ridiculous confrontation with her over a video that I shot from my own backyard of my dogs barking at her daughter walking her dog up the street. The video shows my dogs in the foreground and her daughter way in the background. Drama queen mother threatened to call the police on me claiming it is against Missouri law to photograph a minor without the parent's permission!

I told her to go ahead, "make a fool of yourself and call the police, because you are very wrong." Then I proceeded to tell her that Missouri law does not prohibit photographing anyone regardless of age in public areas such as a street, as there is no "expectation of privacy." She's the neighborhood gossip, so I'm sure she's running around added all sorts of lies to this drama.

It wasn't that many years ago that she spread a false rumor about my neighbor stealing money from the road fund in order to pay for their cars and garage. There was no evidence of such and yet this drama queen mother insists she's never slandered anyone!

Also, in comic strips, the character of Lucy Van Pelt from Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" would be considered a drama queen by today's standards.

Drama queens are everywhere nowadays. Where are the real mature women today? That is, if there are any real ones left.

Wow. I actually googled "drama queen" looking for an answer and you have all posted interesting information. It would seem that with all the responses, the most common one is this person is all about themselves and doesn't really want to change, no matter how ridiculous they really can be. It affects everyone in the environment. If this person is a supervisor in your business then it would be considered a real problem.

Changing, or bringing this to the attention of the person seems to be unsuccessful. While a suggestion of “clarifying gossip” not being allowed in the work place is a good idea, can it shut down the queen or king, or does it leave everyone feeling as though it is an environment kind of like walking on eggshells?

Personally I do not understand why self destruction and destruction of the environment is something that makes this type of person happy. It would seem that working so hard to make everyone else miserable is way more work. Also, working that hard to put yourself under undue stress is absolutely ridiculous.

However, it does exist in my working environment. This person does supervise a group of people, has them running errands for work, and something they should be doing themselves causes frustration to the staff members affected.

The other day the drama involved being called on a story that was not completely true, that was in a big part created for the story behind it, of course making this person the victim in their eyes. The person was acting irrational. There was no working out or agreeing on the actual truth. It was this person's way or no way at all. The entire day this person told the same story to almost everyone in the building. No one who knew the real story, however, believed it. They knew that this person was into the part of being an individual who loves to create a buzz by means of drama, leaving themselves, in this created fantasy, as the poor victim.

The last post, help them! I agreed with that first, and struggled to do that, and found it only gave this person more fuel because it made them the center of attention. Ultimately, I believe we should be able to work together, discuss a problem and correct the behavior with honesty and integrity, but it's not working.

So to the last post – or anyone else reading this topic: What is it you would suggest, legally and morally to assist this person to recognize and change this type of destructive behavior?

Sometimes people are labeled "drama queens/king" simply for showing some emotion. I got to know a man through the internet and at first, as with all new relationships, I found him fascinating and interesting and within a short period of time he invited me to visit him in Florida (I live in Ct.)

At first, I said neither yes or no, but wanted to continue getting to know him via the phone and emails. As time went on, I noticed a few traits that I wasn't too thrilled with.

One, he constantly talked about money, his money, his friends money, and all the family members who had tons of money. I tried to ignore it but had to address the fact that I was neither rich or poor but needed to definitely live on a budget.

The next really important issue was that it seemed that every time we talked on the phone I was deluged with his X rated autobiography. When I nicely mentioned this to him, he made me feel like I was the one with the problem. At that point, I canceled meeting him and subsequently the relationship. His final email to me was that he thought I was way too needy and impulsive.

I didn't like being accused of being overly sensitive, but I'm glad I got out when I did before traveling across seven states to meet a stranger and I have never regretted my decision. --happy and relieved in Connecticut

Wow. I am suffering from being with a "Drama King" right now! He can be extremely volatile and has the tendency to overreact over every little thing that upsets him. If he doesn't get his way, he belittles a person by calling them all sorts of names. Then he does as he currently is doing - gives them the silent treatment.

Is his team losing? Well, why not throw the remote - or worse - put a hole in the wall. He has children with two different women, calls women "the enemy" and says they only look at him as a wallet. Yet, he hardly spends any money on anyone but himself for toys, drugs - whatever!

After this last little "tiff" we had out, I think I'll just do myself the favor of returning his "silent treatment" and ignore him forever!

@anon167440: My heart goes out to you; I just tore myself out of a similar situation. We met on FB via a mutual friend. He was wildly funny, effervescent conversationalist, catching you “in mid-air.” Our humour was often provocative, sexual, off-color -- what the heck, let’s not be prudish!

After some private correspondence, I flew across the globe at his invitation to meet him. The hillbilly adventure in the Northern US he was enticing me with got dampened by the absence of the car (he can’t afford road insurance), and his friends only lent theirs on a few days. Not that I expected to be entertained to the max (I can look after myself, and had been warned of frugal holiday), but just wanted to see what he’s like.

There was a chilly camping night, and a scenic drive around wonderful nature -- that’s the best bit -- but in other areas., he struggles with finances (his field of work is not anyone’s priority), but wouldn’t give up smoking and launched into “please feel free to “pimp” any of my work if you up to it” ( I am a musician who doesn’t “pimp” anything). I paid his electricity bill (cannot remember any thank you words). He is enthusiastic about his homeplace’s rich history.

So we didn’t talk about my aspirations at all. OK. Intimacy? Unexpectedly awkward for such a brash talker; no moves were made; it felt like I’d have to initiate anything (on one occasion I did I was benignly told “to go to bed,” i.e., to my own and on my own.) Apart from a rather timid kiss or two on the day of departure, from a 47 year old, nothing! What a disappointment.

We continued our correspondence for a few months afterward, and meanwhile I paid thousands in his taxes. Otherwise his house would have been repossessed (I have two children myself). “I am 10 years old on the inside,” he’d say after posting a video of a toy helicopter his sister sent him for Christmas. All this time he acts like an MC for a “harem” of female FB “friends” (who he has or hasn’t met in real life), is in turn entertaining and provoking with explicit sexual jokes, and putting them down relentlessly (under the guise of the “FB show”). The details of him coping with his bachelor intimate needs he would also present in a funny way for all to read, although you cannot take him are his word for this outrageous “candidness”, as it’s “only a joke.” Life is unfair, he says. Every time it “smacks the luck out of my hands.” Women always leave him, and, for the record, they are “mostly trouble.”

He would take tiny mild jabs at my attitude, taking care of appearance, exercise, etc., not to mention the “prude” which after his own “detachment” sounded interesting. Every time you object, he says he was only joking: “I’m a teaser; one of my many faults. Never, ever take it seriously”. Like, take it or leave it. Guess what I did.

I’d say “drama kings” are not always about anger or similar negative outbursts (though I had a chance to provoke him into jealousy, which was laughable considering his own record). But they cannot stand even, mature emotions for long, and must keep up the fun/excitement pitch.

In that, I empathize with them, as I, too, get bored easily, but I have my discipline, a Masters degree, am creatively self-employed and raising responsible children. That ‘child-like’ self-absorption and the need to be mothered/consoled/inspired is very draining for a woman who has desires of her own.

I empathize with anyone who had ever been involved with a histrion, as they are wildly exciting and promising, sometimes, mild in their demeanor like lambs. However, they are really kids, shirking any responsibility and scared of growing old. And they give you very little in reality. I know hearts will keep getting broken. But maybe not as many.

I find that often drama queens are paired with people who withhold - either affection, information, or their opinion. Some people aren't real drama queens, but simply want something from the other person that is being withheld.

My boyfriend often withholds affection when angry. This used to *cause* drama with me because I felt the rejection and wanted to convince him to stop and that things would go better in our discussions if he would acknowledge the love between us so I didn't have to feel rejection on top of having a disagreement. It upset me to feel that rejection.

With some counseling, I now see that this withholding is *his* problem and is because he can's deal with the fact that we may disagree. So when he withholds, I will not reward him for that by chasing after him, wanting affection. It's a matter of learning to see that it is *his* issue to withhold and not taking it personally. (I was taught as a child that people rejecting me was *my* fault and as a grown person, took on all the blame.)

Given a little time and space, he usually stops withholding and comes around to being able to discuss things. Turns out *he* is the real drama king by making whatever problem exaggeratedly important to withhold affection.

It's getting better, now that I am not letting him upset me. If he ever withheld communication for too long, I would just walk away.

If you want to know a real drama queen or king, then don't withhold who you are - not affection, information, or self-disclosure. If you show those things and they still continue to cause drama, *that* is a drama queen or king and not a mislabeled person who is sensitive to rejection.

I have just ended a relationship with a drama queen after just five months. This one also had a obsessive- compulsive problem as well, always cleaning up after every little incident.

It was extremely difficult to try and reason with this woman, and of course, she was in denial and insisted that I was the one with the problem. My advice: run a mile at the first signs because you cannot help these people unless they seek it themselves, which, of course, they won't, because they consider themselves quite normal.

Perfectly accurate description! Love it. I work with one -- actually she reports to me. I fear handing out assignments, that she might blow a gasket.

Drama Queens, I've found from experience, tend to also be pathological liars and in a constant state of emotional and environmental denial.

Look for the ones who mark all their sent emails as "Urgent".

For a geek site, you're failing to analyze and see the online effects of the drama queen, which I think are much more important to the visitor than the "real life" ones.

I mean, only a few people can afford to be truly real-life drama queens (or as some aptly put it, divas), even a little, for a while, whereas online, it's rather easy to satisfy their narcissistic need for unwarranted self importance. Therefore, they can easily get away with it in social networking sites, when way back in the good old days they rightly got pounded in the open forums. Or include some other useful real info, like how to ID one by their profiles, replies, etc.

I find it perplexing that 120085 thinks that Oprah and Dr. Phil are a Drama Queen and King! When you look at the definition, it doesn't fit! A pair (King and Queen) I know indicated that they cannot stand Dr. Phil because "he thinks he knows everything when it comes to raising kids!" They are horrible parents but as indicated cannot stand for anyone to offer advice or in any way perhaps imply that they aren't perfect. These same two individuals are quick to call others drama queens but never look in the mirror at themselves.

After reading all your posts, I've heard a lot of people setting up a defense against over-reaction, to the point of condoning drama-queen behavior. I think that one can easily determine if someone is a drama-queen or not, It is when this person (more often than not) makes mountains out of situations which would require only a passing remark.

As far as I am concerned, I know when someone is making a mountain out of a molehill more often than not. Under these circumstances, the person can safely be labeled a histrionic drama-queen (or king). There are limits.

I was with a "Drama King" off/on for five years. The whole time I was with him (engaged three times) he was seeing other women behind my back. He always had some drama - financial usually. Had no money to pay bills, unemployed, always borrowing money, three months behind in the mortgage, etc. but always had money to take his conquests out and buy himself new toys.

Had no money to buy Xmas presents for his grandchildren so I bought them. My own kids didn't even get any. I was going broke, spending thousands of dollars on this poor "victim" who created his own drama. It was always somebody else's faul -- never his.

And what a liar. The most brilliant actor/compulsive liar I ever saw. Textbook poster boy for: Histrionic Personality Disorder with huge dependency issues. He wanted a mom to take care of him (me) and still wanted his dollies on the side. I found phone numbers, emails, dating sites he visited one day before we celebrated Valentine's Day, and I called three of the women. None of them knew about me. And vice versa.

Ladies, Gents, if this is you and you have been played, take heart. Their new victims will get played, too. I thought I could save some of those women from his predatory drama but I can't save the world. Can only save me.

Drama King, oh my god. Everything was about him. I was only a fixture. You think you can help? You think you can save these people? Forget it. They don't want to be saved. It would be far too painful and ugly to acknowledge who they are. Run away and do not look back!

The term "Drama Queen" is often overrated,exploited and misinterpreted by many persons. Sometimes a little showing of temperament is enough to get labeled as drama queen. People might act in such way temporarily out of depression which eventually gets soothed. Thus it is very unfair to label some passionate person as drama king/queen just because you have low tolerance over them.

However, the real drama queens are often appeared to incurable. Because they think they should not change who they are.

I have the personal experience with my best friend of 16 years, whom I now know is a drama queen. She can get upset of the littlest thing and can turn off the joyful mood of the whole group in any gathering. She had insulted my boyfriend and disrespected her although when he used to treat her like a good friend. I agreed with the article's part of being on constant alert about hurting her feeling.

These people might have a hurtful past incident that made them to be such a attention seeker but they refuse to change themselves because they think the world is not fair with their eccentricity. The only reason I still hang out with her because I just want to respect this long friendship although it's eating away my energy and sometimes I'm afraid I am also becoming like her. -Sush

Drama Queens need to be put to bed by telling them straight that their behavior is over the top, unfair and acceptable. If the situation does not improve, either get them fired from work, or pursue other legal means if outside of work. If all else fails, give them a wack.

I agree. I do not like the label drama queen. I do agree that I definitely can act like one, but sometimes it is OK to be angry or upset depending on the severity of the situation. Most people have overreacted some time in their life. No one I know is all that level-headed.

It's interesting how many people get labeled with being a drama queen/king even if they don't overreact to every unpleasant situation that comes their way.

Some people vent to friends (sometimes more than a few to cope with their feelings and or insecurities). If situations do arise where said person occasionally flips out to smaller occurrences, it is quite possible that there have been several things building up over time that have lead to that point.

For example: Say you work with a woman who is normally quiet, not really the type to seek out attention save for from close friends or family, but once in a while, she just freaks out for no apparent reason. Does this really make her a drama queen? I honestly don't think so. There could be a lot of stress build up behind her flipping out and seemingly becoming 'the drama queen' when in reality she isn't really looking for attention at that point at all.

Admittedly, there are some people who do just want the attention, but as with anything there is always a reason behind any given behavior.

I've noticed that being a drama queen/king can be a contagious behavior. I've seen this in the overreacting by what seems like a normal person in response to a certifiable drama queen/king. For a real life example, consider a friend whom you consider normal and sit them in front of TV for a week. Let them watch “Oprah” (Drama Queen) or “Dr. Phil” (Drama King) and tell me if you don’t see them taking on the personality traits of Oprah or Dr. Phil. Both of these TV icons spread their narcissistic drama to their viewers, by saying to their viewers “You don't have to take that, you have to protect your rights!”

It is also possible that drama queens/kings have too much free time on their hands and are just bored with being content. And if everybody else around them is content, they want to bring drama into their lives so that they are no longer bored with that aspect of their lives.

I am a female and have had three drama queens in my life and take it from me they don't want change just attention,they will drive you crazy, wreck your emotional and physical health, so when you see these women coming get out of the way or in the mud you will be in life. They will slowly suck the life out of you. histrionic personalities is what they have and you don't want to experience them in life.

Some folks seem to be missing the point. There's a huge difference between a "drama queen" and someone who is experiencing the usual bad situations or strong emotions of life.

The drama queen makes mountains out of molehills, needs constant validation, wants to be the center of attention -- especially when it's not appropriate, such as at someone else's wedding or birthday party -- and lashes out at people who won't play her game or cater to her whims.

These behaviors are her standard mode of operation, even when things are otherwise "good." The term "drama queen" is often misapplied, and sometimes maliciously. But just because someone walks away from an argument, gets upset about a parking ticket or needs to vent to a best friend about their mother doesn't make them a drama queen.

But they will *not* take constructive advice. They refuse, and want to have interventions with us instead.

why are people who are not afraid to speak their minds and show their feelings considered drama queens? Do you all think it is better to live in a box and pretend everything is okay when it isn't? Don't be a coward and stop being so submissive! You should be supporting others who are brave enough to speak up instead of just going along with others. Was MLK a drama king? I think not.

I'm sure we've all done things in the past that might rightly be termed "drama queen" behavior! I think it is important as a society to help others if we can. No man is an island and we are supposed to be a community of people with different skill sets, wisdom and knowledge. We all have gifts that must be used to help and advise those who may need it in our society. Our world.

Please spare a thought for those who may not know any better and try to educate them in a positive and meaningful way. Who knows, you could help some poor soul change their lives for the better forever! Now how rewarding will that be?

Peace

A drama queen thinks everybody is a slave and life is like a drama. She thinks she owns everything. wow! drama queen.

It really is important to understand that a "drama queen" might have a serious underlying problem which is the reason for needing so much attention. Instead of just being annoyed at a drama queen, it might be better to help her (or him) get help! - jennifers

That may be but these people are adults and should deal with their own problems and not expect everyone else to fix it for them. besides, you can't help a person unless they want to help themselves and nine out of 10 times they won't-so run like hell!

I recently had a run-in with a drama queen at work. Everything from throwing things through the air to singing Christmas songs in May. Must be the center of attention always.

Mean, degrading humor is what she lives for. She doesn't see the harm in it. When confronted by her boss, breaks into tears. So is she playing her game or isn't she? One flew over the cuckoo's nest?

Yes some drama queens act that way because of depression, but not all depressed people act like drama queens. People are born with different temperaments, and as they grow up and experience different situations in life, they form different personalities. Drama queens fear invalidation, and that's why they demand to be noticed.

My very own daughter called me a "drama queen" because I left the room. I left the room saying nothing because she was talking to me in a very disrespectful way. Just because I don't hear her disrespect, does not justify a "drama queen". I have emotions. It's too bad my hurt feelings are generally classified in society as drama. That's wrong.

Wow. I'm amazed at the amount of ignorance and evil displayed here about this subject.

I think people need to stop generalizing and abusing women's emotions. I was called this the other day by a friend I had for a while.

My son's fiance is a drama queen. she took us for over $1000, and when I asked to borrow $20 of it back, it started a day-and-a-half tirade about how stressed she is, and how much pressure she's under, and how unloved she feels, and how I'm like all the others who is out to get her. She made my husband drive 35 miles to get the $20 from her because coming to my house was "inconvenient".

I have had many experiences with drama queens. These social vampires are a waist of time in dealing with. I think many people would agree that having a drama queen around is a strain on one's personal life as well as mental and physical health.

These people are a sad example of a degenerating society that breeds social vampirism into its very fabric. (If you don't know what a "Social Vampire" is, read the chapter "Not All Vampires Suck Blood" from the Satanic Bible by LaVey.)

Personally I simply don't allow drama queens into my life at all. When one attempts to enter into it, I cut them out like the cancer they are and leave them to the way side.

I will antagonize them into throwing fits to show the world just how stupid they really are in an attempt to teach them equally how stupid they are behaving. To date I have only met one such drama queen who has reformed herself and changed from being a dramatic-seeking attention hound to a healthy member of society. that person is now my wife and mother of my child.

If only more people could do what she did and change themselves, the world would be a much better place.

I had a very serious misunderstanding about my own ability to pass a college class. I thought that it was a matter of time before my teacher found out that I had a below average in IQ. (I found out that I am not below average IQ).

I showed my insecurity to my teacher though and he ended up not liking me and telling people that I was a drama queen and other nasty things.

I feel as the post by jennifer's up above that you should get to know the person that is making a big deal out of the smallest of things because some very deep issues might be preventing them from relaxing. --sarah

I work with two drama queens and believe me it is like being in a "whack job sandwich". The one more so than another, who talks about herself all day long and takes off time to run from one doctor to another.

I'm pretty tolerant and quiet, but sometimes you just want to say shut the !@#$ up!

I dated a drama queen basically run away as fast as you can. I ran in terror after 3-4 dates. Basically breaking up with a drama queen is the hardest part - they fear the rejection of the breakup far far more than actually losing you (you are a mere prop in her drama world, not someone worth knowing). Bascailly just fade into the distance until she becomes distracted by some other guy. It worked well for me.

We live in a culture of emotional nihilism. Everyone wears a social straight jacket, trying to fit in to the standard of "nice" and a "let's not rock the boat" credo. Passionate individuals and those whose passions were denied socialization due to rigid conditioning are perceived as anathema because we have been taught to hate their intensity in ourselves.

If we would listen to our passions and the message of their drama, we could get in touch with some vital energy.

well, from my experiences, listening to a drama queen usually sets the boundaries for more and more drama. so the best thing is just don't get caught in the web.

Personally, I think the term "drama queen" or "king" is a pejorative. This is what someone who really *is* one calls someone else when they don't approve of their actions. Who's to say the other person is irrational? Maybe people should listen and not blow off others so much like that.

i recently ended a friendship with a drama queen, and i am so happy about it. i couldn't take it anymore! there was always something with her! she is always extremely happy, then extremely depressed and crying hysterically, then extremely angry and throwing things. she's never calm. and she doesn't care about anyone else but herself! its all about her and her problems (which she created a lot of times). do not feel bad for these people! and no matter how much you try to help them, they don't listen. do not waste your energy on them!

Just got dumped by my drama queen four days after we got engaged and after two years of loving and supporting her - despite her faults. Then found out she's engaged to another guy she's been seeing behind my back for a few months. Of course I'm crushed. Only consolation is he doesn't know what's going to hit him in a few months when he sees her true nature.

I left my drama king six years ago and have never been happier. He has since remarried, and his wife is ready to leave him because of his histrionics and self-centered entitlement issues. He's charming, though. But definitely not worth the emotional roller-coaster.

This is in response to helping a "drama queen" ---. They do not want help in a positive way, they want you to bring them water when they almost pass out (at least 3 x per week). Try telling this person that they over-react and you will get a response telling *you* how the cosmos made *you* crazy. Just walk away, this is the best medicine for the both of you.

There is a difference between a drama queen,someone who is depressed, and someone who is just immature and finds problems hard to endure. I try to help a person with a problem till I realize they are enjoying their suffering or that they usually act like this. Then I begin to gently them about their behavior in a way that makes it seem that I care only about their well being. If someone enjoys the result of being a drama queen and doesn't want to stop, be it affirmation from other people or getting their own way, then I stop talking to them.

Drama queens are exhausting parasitic people who feed off the energy of anyone who is afraid to be alone. Better to put up with and encourage the drama, than to be a lonely loser.

The so called drama queen may have other very positive points in her personality..but should the tantrum attitude be allowed? or how to deal with such a person? She cannot be corrected even for a small thing..because if you do, you must remain ready to hear ten times more fierce feed back!

how can we, the spouses of so called drama queens or kings best deal with our partners so as to continue living happier lives?

someone dealing with depression may seem like a drama queen or king, but is truly dealing with depressive episodes and triggers.. depression takes on people in different ways, and emotional outbursts is one of them.

the world with be a better place without them (drama queens and kings) so we better burn them and grind their bones to dust!

It really is important to understand that a "drama queen" might have a serious underlying problem which is the reason for needing so much attention. Instead of just being annoyed at a drama queen, it might be better to help her (or him) get help!